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My first book is now available for purchase! Its official release date is not unitl December 16, but it can be purchased directly from the publisher at:
I am excited and scared all at the same time. My prayer is simply that my readers encounter God in a profound way as they read this book. I want them to experience Him as their hope, courage, strength, and most of all, friend. If any of you want to let me know your response to the book, please comment on this blog, or check my website www.livingthecall.com for other ways to reach me. I’ve spent a long time trying to say what I thought the Lord would have me say and now I’m really ready to hear from you! Thank you so much for your faithfulness in praying for me and the book.
Intimacy is not something that occurs spontaneously. The fruit of it is spontaneity in our response to the one we love, but to get to that place requires place requires great determination and purpose. There are no short cuts. It takes time, attention and a willingness to suffer. We all long for God in the deepest part of our being, but unless we have purposed in our hearts to know Him deeply we will continue to live our lives more acquainted with the world than His wonders.
God’s ways are almost always counter intuitive. Most people would pay lots of money to be able to live above the horror and sadness that inundates this world and their own hearts. There is a way, but it’s more than most people want to pay. Jesus came to show us the way to overcome the world. He walked in intimacy with His father all the way to the cross. Intimacy with God will take us places we never dreamed we’d go. If our hearts are one with His, we will be touched by what touches Him. He is near to the brokenhearted. Are we? If we truly want to see people touched by God, then we have to allow Him to touch ever part of us. We cannot hold back.
Jesus did not go to the cross so we could live comfortably and isolate ourselves from the suffering in the world. In fact, He will sometimes disrupt our comfort on purpose, not because He’s mean and uncaring, but because He wants us to live in the power of His Resurrection and in the closeness with the Father for which He died. He wants us to be so in unison with Him that His heart for the lost and broken becomes ours and causes us to desire to sacrifice for them just as He did for us.
There is no greater pursuit than knowing God. All of the success in the world will not get us through the tough times, but knowing Him will. Be careful what you set out to pursue. You will probably get what you seek, but it will cost you one way or the other and the difference in the return on your investment is vast.
Philippians 3:10-11:
10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]
11That if possible I may attain to the [[b]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
After a particularly rough night of high blood pressure and low heart rate, I landed in the hospital yesterday. I am happy to report that after a couple of bags of fluid I am much better and on my way up. Maybe not as quickly as I’d like, but moving in the right direction nonetheless.
My only outing today was to pick up Josiah from day camp. I was getting into my chair and got turned at just the wrong angle. I started to slip and was heading slowly to the floor, just like last week. I was so mad! I knew if I just let it happen slowly, I wouldn’t get hurt. I knew I only had a few seconds to make my decision; to play it safe and not get hurt or take a risk and go for the seemingly impossible. I was completely backward at this point, facing the back of my chair with my torso on the seat. The odds were definitely against me, but I was just too angry to give up. I battled and wiggled and pulled and yelled. Several times I almost lost it, but I just kept fighting and knowing that I’d rather go down fighting than give up. Finally, after quite a battle, I somehow ended up in my chair!
So this is the metaphor of my life, and yours too. It’s so much better to go down fighting and have the scars to show for it than to play it safe. The Christian life is not for those who insist on playing it safe. It is for those who know that Jesus is exactly who He claimed to be and know that living for Him and like Him is to live dangerously. It’s dangerous to our egos and sense of control. It’s dangerous to our human sense of fairness. It’s dangerous to our pocket books and plans. And quite possibly it is dangerous to our physical lives.
Living for Jesus and loving God’s ways will cost you everything, but not nearly as much as serving the world and its master. It isn’t something that we notice all at once, but little by litle, the God of your life will come and stake his claim for what is already his. Who will that be?
I’ve often heard people say, “I just want my life back!” My answer to them is, “What life? You gave that up when you became a Christian.” It’s the truth. We are not our own. We’ve all tried at times to live life “on our own terms”, and “to just do it our way”. The problem with that is that there is no such thing! The world tries to tell us that we have to “take care of ourselves because no one else will.” The minute we think we’re living for ourselves, to meet our own needs, etc. etc., we have fallen into deception because we are either slaves of the Enemy and his system or we are bond servants (under submission by choice) to Jesus and His Kingdom. There is no third option. (Romans 6)
There are those who are afraid that people will think they are radical if they really let God have His way in their lives. Here is the truth. If you are a Christian, then by definition you believe that the God of the universe became an embryo in the womb of a teenage virgin. That’s really out there. If you believe that and you are trying to avoid being radical, well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’re too late.
With that in mind, what is the point of “playing it safe”. We may as well jump in and live and love and believe with absolute abandon no matter what the perceived cost. The cross is the symbol of all we hold dear as believers. It is anything but a symbol of safety. Live a life worthy of the cross!
Right now I am in the thick of finishing the final edits for my first book Walk It Out. When I have a project like this I tend to be hyper focused. Already today, I’ve been on my computer for over three hours and it’s only 8 a.m.!
This is the hardest part for me. First of all, details aren’t my forte. On top of that I’ve written and read this book so many times that sometimes I can’ t see the trees for the forrest, if I can use the inverse of an old saying. And to make it just a little more interesting there are still times when I read it, that I have to just stop and cry.
Sometimes I wonder when I’ll stop crying over these things, and then I think again. There is a part of me that doesn’t ever want to stop crying. The healing of my heart has by and large been accomplished. I’m not crying so much out of pain as I am out of tenderness. It’s something that happens when the Lord crushes us. The wounds heal, but the heart is never the same.
The more we allow God to break us, the more room in our hearts He has to touch us with His own feelings. We start to experience the very emotions of Jesus. We feel the love and compassion that He has for others. We grieve over the sin and injustice that break His heart. Not only that, we are filled with the pure joy of living that only comes from the Giver of Life.
The process is never what we expect or want, but the results are so worth the pain. So I continue to live and write and cry and laugh as I embrace the cross that creates the way for all He wants me to be. Whatever cross you’ve been given, and however difficult it is, embrace it fully and get everything out of it that the Lord will give you. It is a gift. The promises of God can never be fully realized until the cross is fully embraced.
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. Deuteronomy 6:5
This was the first commandment, and according to Jesus it summed up all ten. That simplifies it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Jesus preached a simple gospel that is most difficult to accept. He said leave it all behind and follow me. He said die to yourself and live for me. He said the world will hate you as it hates me. He said love your enemy, reach out to the outcasts, become of no reputation. It wasn’t a complicated messege, but it was hard to swallow.
That’s why we’re always trying to add to it or take away from it. We add rules here and there so we can feel like we’re doing rather than having to feel like we’re dying. We want to be noticed instead of being of no reputation. Our flesh resists the cross at all costs, but if we’ll just listen to His voice of love, we’ll count the cost and realize that the reward of knowing Him is more than worth the price we pay.
We have to continually examine our hearts. Are we really loving God with everything in us or are we flirting with the world on the side? Are we trying to impress “the right people” to get our way or on the flipside are we trying to shut people out in an attempt to protect our wounded hearts? Are we happy with our cliques or do we open our hearts to others? It’s really not so much about what we’re doing, but how we’re dying.
James minced no words when he said in chapter 4 4″You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” He stuck with Jesus’s method and made it simple, not easy. We can be a friend of the world, or a friend of God, but we can’t be both. We have to choose our enemy.
Loving God with all our heart, soul and mind means that those who love the world with all their hearts, souls and minds are going to hate us and persecute us. Jesus didn’t teach a course on How to Win Friends and Influence People. He said follow me. You’ll make enemies doing it. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. And He also said that if we choose Him, He would call us His friend. It doesn’t get any better than that.
And thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart…
1 Corinthians 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
Last week was an interesting week. We worshipped with parts of the Body in our area we usually don’t get to be with. Wednesday was Ash Wednesday. A day traditionally set aside to repent of our sins and sort of take spiritual inventory as the season of Lent (the 40 days before Easter) begins. We’ve been reading Exodus at home and I thought it would fit in perfectly with Passover. It all seemed like a great idea, until my youngest choked on the wine and announced to the other worshippers that “The grape juice is rotten!” My daughter and I started laughing. We couldn’t help it! No one else laughed, except the lady who had offered him the cup. Honestly, I think it made her day. Everyone else was probably slightly annoyed that now they would have to repent for being annoyed with us!
On Sunday we worshipped at a church that had guest psalmists. It appeared that this church was a little new to non-traditional forms of worship. They seemed genuinely delighted that the Lord responded so openly to their praise. It was refreshing to observe. I liked these people. They really loved being there with God. We were reacquainted with a few old friends and met some new ones as well. It was fun.
I want to carry in my heart the different aspects of God’s truth that various parts of the Body bring. Some churches are better at remembering the cross and some are really good at remembering each other. We have a church near us that really know how to bring in the lost and can celebrate baptisms like no one else! We need each part individually and corporately. Sometimes it is good to venture out of our comfort zones and embrace what God embraces in each of us.
12 And the LORD appeared to Solomon by night, and said unto him, I have heard thy prayer, and have chosen this place to myself for an house of sacrifice.
13 If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people; 14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.15 Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attend unto the prayer that is made in this place.
16 For now have I chosen and sanctified this house, that my name may be there for ever: and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually.
When I read these verses, I am absolutely blown away. I literally covered my mouth and closed my eyes as I meditated on this. The realization that Yahweh God wants to speak these words to each of us is an absolute silencer.
Because of the cross and resurrection of our Lord, we are the Temple He is speaking of. He has chosen Earthly, human vessels to be the places that he would sanctify, and that His name and His eyes and heart would be perpetually. It is not entirely a free gift as some have been led to believe. To be indwelt by the God of the universe is a costly endeavor.
When He chooses us, He chooses us as a house for sacrifice. There is no longer needed the sacrifice for sin, as that was made once and for all by Christ, but there is a cost to be counted as a joint heir with Him. We have to die completely to everything we are and have in order for him live fully through us in the power of His resurrection. Dying to our flesh is a mysterious thing and it is never fully accomplished, but with every blow our flesh takes there is more freedom and power and life.
As we become living sacrifices and God fills our temples, we become useful vessels for His kingdom on Earth, even to the point that God will hear our cries for our land when he sends judgement (locusts and pestilence). There has not been a time in our nation such as the times we live in now, when there has been such a great need for men and women to lay down their lives so that people can see the true and living God among them and this nation could be healed.
There will be lots of media attention and even pulpit time given to the coming elections, but for those of us who are following Christ, the emphasis never changes. Jesus and a life lived as an offering are our only hope and the only hope of our lost and dying nation and world. May we be those living, moving temples that bring His presence and His heart to those around us.
These are difficult times we live in. Individuals, families, churches and entire communities are experiencing testings and trials and are suffering in various ways. As someone who is no stranger to trials, I empathize with those who are going through difficulties. I’ve noticed that when things get tough, it is human nature to judge and point fingers. I’ve watched over and over in my own life and in the lives of others that people who are suffering are easy targets for judgers and fixers.
The judgers want to tell you why you are in the situation you find yourself in and the fixers want to tell you exactly how to get out. Both are operating in pride, and most of us have been guilty on both counts. When you are on the receiving end of this it brings everything from condemnation to anger, and leaves you with even more to deal with than before!
So with the times we are in becoming more difficult, I thought it was worth re-posting this.
1 Chronicles 21:13
“I am in deep distress. Let me fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is very great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men.”
The deeper our distress, the more we long to be in the hands of God. Jesus is just so kind. He understands our plight. He is the incarnation of the mercy seat; that place covered by His blood and filled with the presence of God. Oh, to be in that place when we are hurting!
Unfortunately, we have all had times of distress when we have fallen into the hands of men. Sometimes even well meaning humans create even more distress because they unwittingly operate from the position of the judgement seat rather than the mercy seat. This is the difference between having compassion and “feeling sorry”.
True compassion is born out of suffering that has given birth to empathy. Jesus had (and has) compassion for people because He chose to identify with us in humanness and suffering. Those who merely feel sorry for others have distanced themselves from the suffering of others and say with the pharisees, “Thank God I’m not like that!” Sometimes they even take a kind of perverted comfort in the sufferings of others. Other times they are the types who know just what the problem is and have the simple solution that will change your situation. The ten commandments were the simple solution. If everyone just followed them, things would go well. The only problem is, the law was never meant to be the solution.
Jesus came to be the solution. He didn’t come to point out the pain and suffering and sin and sickness. He came to become the pain and suffering and sin and sickness. He became it, to conquer it, so that we could find our life in Him and operate from the mercy seat.
We have to continually humble ourselves in order to receive mercy and give it to others, and we have to guard our hearts so that we do not become like the Pharisees. To identify with Christ means to be intimately aware of our own brokenness and need for Jesus and to identify with the suffering and brokenness of humanity. We can only give as much mercy as we realize we have received. As humans, we really want to have answers for people and their problems. We can’t always give answers, but we can always give mercy.
Hebrews 2 18For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried), He is able [immediately] [c]to run to the cry of (assist, relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried [and who therefore are being exposed to suffering].
Passage Revelation 22:17:
17The [Holy] Spirit and the bride (the church, the true Christians) say, Come! And let him who is listening say, Come! And let everyone come who is thirsty [who is painfully conscious of his need [a]of those things by which the soul is refreshed, supported, and strengthened]; and whoever [earnestly] desires to do it, let him come, take, appropriate, and drink the water of Life without cost.(A)
The voices of the Bride and the Bridegroom are echoing loudly and often. In the churches and gatherings of believers I hear the cry. It’s being voiced in songs and prayers, declarations and sobs. There is such a longing for Jesus to come, not just in some future and celestial sort of way, but immediately and into the circumstances of Earth. His Bride is longing for His touch, His words, His comfort and His justice. The Bride says, “Come!”
At the same time His voice can be heard just as clearly calling to those who are thirsty. To those who are in love with Him, He says, “Come!” and to those who don’t yet know Him, but are aware of their need, he says. “Come!”
Everywhere I look it seems that people are in situations that cause them to be painfully aware of their need to be supported and strengthened. If you are in that catagory, I have good news for you! You qualify to drink freely of the Water of Life! Jesus is saying to you, the same thing you are saying to Him. “Come!”
If you are satisfied with where you are, and you don’t see any real need for Jesus to come and invade your life with His presence, I pray that your situation changes. If you’ve become comfortable in your spiritual life, I pray for holy dissatisfaction to grip your soul until you cry out for more of God in your life. If you think everthing is just fine the way it is, and you feel like you are somewhat in control of things, I pray that your eyes are opened and you see that you are poor and naked and needy of the only One who is in control.
May we all cry out together, “Maranatha!”
Sometimes it seems that we stand, believe, pray and declare only to see everything we think should happen go in the opposite direction. There are some days when nothing happening is a relief from the deluge of bad news and real life drama. I have actually told God that when I prayed, “More, Lord!” I didn’t mean more suffering! There are times when I am spiritually and emotionally too tired to pray anything more than, “Help!”
I know I’m not alone; especially in these days, for those who are going after God and the things of the Spirit with their whole hearts. The warfare is heavy and it is real. So how do we keep from getting discouraged when we are in the middle of personal battles and distress, not to mention wars and terrorist attacks and starving children?
I did a search on the word “encourage” in the Amplified Bible. I got over 60 scriptures. Most of those were somehow referring to people encouraging people. There was one about the comfort of the Holy Spirit. We know how real and sweet that is, but the plan of God is to pour out His Holy Spirit through clay vessels. Just read a couple of these.
- Job 16:5 (Whole Chapter)
[But] I would strengthen and encourage you with [the words of] my mouth, and the consolation of my lips would soothe your suffering. - Romans 1:12 (Whole Chapter)
That is, that we may be mutually strengthened and encouraged and comforted by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. - 2 Corinthians 7:6 (Whole Chapter)
But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us by the arrival of Titus.
Jesus knows how discouraging the world can be. He lived here. So in His love for us, He made a way for us to get through all of this successfully. His way is the cross. Always. It is by receiving His sacrifice that we are forgiven and released of the burden of sin, guilt, and death. Ok, meditating on that alone should dispel discouragement, but thtat’s not all. The only way to receive Him and His way is to follow Him to the cross, humble ourselves, take up our own cross and become living sacrifices. You may be thinking that this is not what you signed up for and not very encouraging, either. Oh, but it is; on both counts!
If you want to follow Jesus, there is no other way but the cross, and although it is counterintuitive, there is no life, joy, peace or happiness until we die to ourselves. Once we start this process the Holy Spirit is able to fill us and there is no greater joy than knowing His presence and then we can’t help but talk about how good God has been to us! It’s really that simple. When we speak about what God is doing for us it releases faith in ourselves and to those we speak to and we all get encouraged! If you don’t have a recent testimony of your own, tell someone else’s. Put yourself around people who have bigger faith than you do, then go find someone to encourage. It’s hard to be discouraged when your praising God!
Ok. So I’m finally back with an update. It’s been a wild week. Actually, for me, getting out of bed three days in a row is wild. It’s true. I usually exhaust myself so much when I’m up that I have to stay in bed a day just to recover. That’s how it is with life from a wheelchair. I have to carefully ration my energy. I was forced to learn how to do that physically, and I’m just now learning that it’s just important to keep tabs on my emotional energy.
We all have to discover our own imits. I’m a slow learner. It took me a long time to even get a glimpse of this concept. I lived like I was the emotional equivilent to Wonder Woman. I think I LIKED being Wonder Woman. I got to be the “good guy” all the time. I could handle it all and still keep smiling. Then it just hit me. I suddenly couldn’t handle anything anymore. I was so mad that I wasn’t Wonder Woman! I was more like *Emo Woman! That was really fun!!
So, now I am just as aware of how much or how little emotional energy I have as I am of my physical energy, and I have finally given Wonder Woman the boot and myself permission to relax. If people stress me out, I no longer feel guilty about getting some space. In fact, I don’t feel guilty about a lot of things anymore. Wonder Woman felt responsible for everything and everyone. Now that there is no Wonder Woman, there is no unnesscary guilt. It’s so cool how that works!
On the physical front, I am working on a trip to Pittsburgh to visit my doctor. We are looking into adult stem-cell therapy. There have been some really good results with people who have been paralyzed. Please pray with me about this, and I will give updates as they are available. At the same time I am starting physical and occupational therapy again this Tuesday. I think I am at a place that I will see the results of some healing I’ve gotten recently. Please check back here periodically, because I will post any new improvements.
*In case you’re out of the loop, “emo” is what the kids say when referring to “emotionally disturbed”. As in, “My mom is totaly emo right now!”
This grief thing has been tumbling around in my head the last few days. Well, that’s not exactly true. It was more like a deep well of grief inside me was struck, and the grief started gushing up like some kind of over active geyser. I cried for hours, then pulled it together enough to go to my neighbor’s house for the 4th of July.
I faked it pretty well until Ryan showed up. I can’t fake anything around him. Like when we were dating and I was trying to play hard to get and in utter frustration I blurted out,”Oh! It doesn’t matter. I know I’m going to marry you anyway!” So much for being demure. So that’s how I am with him. Wide open! Sometimes it annoys me.
Grief annoys me, too. It doesn’t ask for a proper time to present itself. It just shows up and takes over. It’s almost impossible to ignore or put aside until later, but in our culture we’re expected to somehow tame it. Sometimes I wish we had a wailing wall in every church, so that we could just get it out. Instead, in most churches, they’d take you out if you were really grieving. I was overcome with grief once, so I went to church. I just wanted God, so when the altar call was given, I was the first one there. I must have been some kind of sight because the pastor started making excuses for me to the congregation.
It’s not that way in the African American culture. They know how to grieve and let grieve. They don’t try to explain it away or comfort the person until they are quiet. The word of God says to weep with those who weep. Even Job’s friends had it right until they started trying to explain his problems with their own understanding.
- Job 2:13 (Whole Chapter)
So they sat down with [Job] on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief and pain were very great.
They didn’t speak a word, but they didn’t leave him either. They entered into his suffering with him. That’s the essence of intercession. Intercession is the flip side of grief. That’s what Jesus did for us.
Isaiah 53:4 (Whole Chapter)
Surely He has borne our griefs …
We have to enter into the grief, embrace the cross and allow it to do its work. Once we’ve allowed it to happen, those deep places filled with grief empty out and make room for wells of intercession. Sometimes those wells will be filled with the griefs of others, and sometimes with the grief the Holy Spirit and as they are emptied out to the Lord in intercession, the wells fill up with Living Water for your own life and for others.
So, although I don’t welcome grief, I’ve learned to embrace it. If you are grieving right now, don’t try to stop it. Weep as long and as loudly as you need. Even better, find someone who will enter into it with you, and know for certain that Jesus has entered into your grief and He will turn your sorrow into gladness and your mourning into praise. It really will happen. The blood of Jesus is your guarantee.
