Ok. So I’m finally back with an update. It’s been a wild week. Actually, for me, getting out of bed three days in a row is wild. It’s true. I usually exhaust myself so much when I’m up that I have to stay in bed a day just to recover. That’s how it is with life from a wheelchair. I have to carefully ration my energy. I was forced to learn how to do that physically, and I’m just now learning that it’s just important to keep tabs on my emotional energy.
We all have to discover our own imits. I’m a slow learner. It took me a long time to even get a glimpse of this concept. I lived like I was the emotional equivilent to Wonder Woman. I think I LIKED being Wonder Woman. I got to be the “good guy” all the time. I could handle it all and still keep smiling. Then it just hit me. I suddenly couldn’t handle anything anymore. I was so mad that I wasn’t Wonder Woman! I was more like *Emo Woman! That was really fun!!
So, now I am just as aware of how much or how little emotional energy I have as I am of my physical energy, and I have finally given Wonder Woman the boot and myself permission to relax. If people stress me out, I no longer feel guilty about getting some space. In fact, I don’t feel guilty about a lot of things anymore. Wonder Woman felt responsible for everything and everyone. Now that there is no Wonder Woman, there is no unnesscary guilt. It’s so cool how that works!
*In case you’re out of the loop, “emo” is what the kids say when referring to “emotionally disturbed”. As in, “My mom is totaly emo right now!”