The Desperation of God

The hand of God is always upon those He loves.  Sometimes a touch from God is a hug or kiss and sometimes it’s a slam that puts us right on our face before Him.  He always puts His finger on the places that need surrendering.  At our house it seems that He plays us like a piano…always touching key places at the same time.

 That’s how it is right now.  He gives little reprieves then pulls the stray strings in our hearts and we are undone again.  I once found the whole routine rather disturbing, and always longed to get out of it.  I’ve come to not only expect it, but to actually enjoy it, in a strange sort of way.  It’s always uncomfortable, and often painful, but still there is this sweet sense of intimacy that comes when the Lord touches places in our lives that we weren’t even aware of. 

Although I worry and fret over circumstances like everyone, I’ve become less inclined to do so, as I’ve learned these times aren’t about the circumstances at all.  They’re really about Him getting all of me.  So I focus on what He’s after and hide in His heart and wait for Him to do what He will with the circumstances.

I went to a house of prayer yesterday with my very active six year old.  He doesn’t have much patience for waiting in God’s presence yet, and I knew I was stretching him to even attempt it.  Kids are amazingly keen in their ability to pick up their parents’ feelings.  He sat down next to me and said, “Do you want to cry to God, Mom?” 

“Yes,” I answered a little surprised at his insight.  “Me too, but my tears won’t come out,” he replied as he sqinted his eyes.

“Let’s just cry with our words then,” I suggested.  Earlier in the morning while reading the Bible, God had directed me to Matthew 10:47.  It was the passage where Blind Bartemeus was cryng out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Everyone around Him told him to be quiet.  It wasn’t very dignified or polite the way he was carrying on, but he was desperate for a change.  Jesus liked that and took notice.  That’s where my heart is once again.  It has become a familiar desperation, a recognizable ache in my heart.  I’m beginning to understand that it’s not my heartache so much as it is His.

The word says that God gives us the desires of HIS heart.  His heart desires, longs for and aches for us. I think He sometimes allows these circumstances in our lives not only so we feel how desperate we really are for Him, but also so we can comprehend how desperate He is for us. 

So wherever you are today, know that God is drawing you, and if you’re in a difficult or painful place, you are even more blessed, because He is revealing His heart to you.  Cry out to Him and He will surely take notice because He lives and died to hear the voice of His beloved.

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